Crossdress your heart?
by Justfornora
Summary: StanxKyle  First year of high school.
1. I cant afford a carriage

Enter scene Randy, that's all I can think when I see my dad. That's all he is to me, just a minor character in my life entering my life for a moment and leaving right away, and boy am I relieved when he walks off stage. And that's what he was when he walked into my room on my first day of high school. I could hear him yelling my name from down the hallway, right before my door swung open.

" Stan, Stan!"

" Dad! Learn to knock!" I said as I tripped over my own feet putting my pants on.

"Oh sorry, but your mom was just telling me… why are you pants off…anyways your mom was just telling me that today's your first day of high school!" boy were his eyebrows high. I wasn't sure if he was excited or just curious on why I didn't have any pants on."

"Yea, what do you think I'm getting dressed for?" I finally got my pants up.

He had a sort of brain dead look on his face and said, "Oh, I just assumed you were stroking the old salami before your headed to school."

"Dad!" It didn't surprise me, but I sure didn't want to hear it.

"What, I know I wouldn't want to be stressed out on the first day of school. But you got to be careful with stuff like that son. I remember when your mother gave me an old fashion and I slept like a-."

"Dad!" I didn't want those images in my head for the first day of high school.

"I'm just saying you don't want you to sleep through your first day of…what school are you going to again?"

I sighed from disappointment. I couldn't believe how stupid he was, there was only one high school in this whole stinkin' town. "South Park High…"

"Ah, of course, good old South Park high. I remember that's where I first stuck it to your mother."

Ever since I made him believe that I got into Wendy's pants he's been so open with me, even more when I broke up with her. Saying things like "you dog you." and "that a boy Stan, don't let 'er tie ya' down!" You know, when he's drunk. I was hoping he would get to the point already.

"Anyways son, these are your bronze years."

"Bronze year's dad?"

"That's right son, you see I'm in my golden years. I don't have many years left in me, but your barley on your way, so If there's anything I can do for you just name it."

"Well can you give me a ride to school?"

"Oh no can do Stanley."

"What, but you said anything! Not even to the bus stop?"

He sort of gave a little stumble towards me and said, "To tell you the truth I'm a little too drunk to be cruisin' the streets with my boy."

"But it's seven in the goddam morning, how the hell can you be drunk?"

"Hey!" I waited for his to say something but he just seemed to stand there statuesque pointing at me. I finally just walked away and started heading to the bus stop. I wasn't that cold that day, but for some reason I could help but to huddle into my jacket. When I was about a block away from the house I heard a door slam. " Stan, Stan!" I was my dad, I didn't even bother to look back. " Staaaaaaaaaaaannnn, I love you!" I rubbed the bridge of nose telling myself, " goddammit dad…" I could still hear him crying out my name, and i could of sworn I heard him crying.

When I got to the bus stop Kenny was there listening to his Ipod. And he seemed to really get into it, at first he was just bobbing his head, but it turned into a whole coordinated dance off. He didn't even notice I was standing there till he bumped into me. "Oh, hi Stan." He said as he continued to shake his hand and shoulders.

" Hey Kenny." He totally ignored me the entire time, so I was relieved to see Kyle walking towards us. I noticed him because he waved his hands high, as if he was trying to catch a cloud. He looked kind of ridiculous but I couldn't help but to do the same. We greeted on another and Kyle tried to greet Kenny but I told him not to even bother.

"So you think this year's going to be better than the last?" Kyle asked me.

"No way man, it never is."

"Yea I guess you're right." He seemed kind of down when I said that, I should of lied to him. "By the way, I saw your dad crying on your driveway on the way here. He was saying something about telling you he loved you, whats that about?" I didn't want to bring that up again so I tried to change the subject, "What was that Kyle, you love me?" I grabbed him in a head-lock and started giving him a noogie. "Aw, you're a class act Kyly boy, I love ya' too!"

"Cut it out you know what I mean!" He said trying to pull me off, not very hard though. Kenny finally decided to take off his headphones so I let him go.

"What are you listening to anyways Kenny?" I asked.

"The best song ever, Friday!" I should have known it couldn't of been anything good.

"By that Rebecca Black chick? Why are you listening to that kinds of crap, I thought you had more sense that that Kenny."

"I think it's pretty catchy, plus that Rebecca Black is a total babe!" Kenny can't tell the difference between a model and a car crash, as long as it's a girl. Kyle agreed with Kenny, "I don't see why people hate it so much, it's not that bad." Suddenly Cartman pulled up in this beat up old sports car with the sun roof off, if it even had one. It was a real junker. "Of course you would Jew boy; Jews have no taste for music." He had sunglasses on attempting to look flashy. Which was kind of hard to imagine since his stomach was practically hitting the horn. " What the hell are you doing driving that thing, your only fourteen!"

"My mum knows a guy at the DMV who got me a license." He leaned back in his seat, sort of, "G' yea, don't you think i look- coooool?" he said while pulling off his sunglasses.

We all disagreed. I whispered to Kyle, "I'm pretty sure his mom slept with the guy at the DMV." He giggled behind his glove. Boy do I love when he does that, it makes him seem so young and carefree, I wish I could be like that.

"Screw you guy! I guess you guys don't need a ride." Cartman said looking away, pretending he was about to leave.

" Alright then, see you around." Said Kyle.

" Come on guy it'll be coooool. Imagine the looks on those guys faces when they look at us pulling up in this sweet ride!"

The car wasn't 'sweet' at all, but the bus didn't seem to be coming anytime soon so I convinced them to come along. I was shuffling my feet in the snow on my way to the car when Kenny said " Wait guys, which seat should I taaaaaake…its Friday Friday!" I ignored his terrible singing skills and told him to sit in the front. "Yea Kenny," said Cartman, " sit up here, I don't want that dirty jew messing up my front seat."

"Screw you cartman, I'm sure there isn't enough room with your fat ass anyways!" exclaimed Kyle.

I took the seat behind Cartman so that Kyle won't complain about the cramped area. Cartman was already busy trying to convince Kenny his Ipod is a fake, claiming that he wouldn't be able to afford a real one. I hadn't seen Kyle since his bitch of a mom made him go to Jerusalem over the summer. It was hard to give him a proper farewell when Cartman was saying " Nyeh nyeh nyeh, Hehehehehe." So I'm awful happy see him. "So how was Jerusalem, any fun?"

"No way, I didn't know anyone there. I sure wish you were there." said Kyle slouching in his seat.

"Oh come on Kyle you've been flirting with me all day, just say it already." I felt like giving him a hard time since I haven't seen him all summer.

"Say what?" he started to sit up, trying to think of what I meant by it.

"Say you want a big fat smooch."

"What!" Kyle got all wide eyed and started to blush, boy it made me laugh how serious he is. He couldn't even tell when I was just fooling him.

"We're all friends here Kyle," I glanced at Cartman, "Well most of us. Give me a big fat "Welcome home from hell" smooch!" I leaned in towards him puckering my lips. He put up his hands trying to push me off.

" Cut it out Stan, whats up with you today!"

" What's up with me, you're the one that doesn't know how to take a kiss." I kept pretending to kiss him. He now had his feet up practically lifting me out of the car.

" Hey quit screwing around back there." Said Cartman.

"Not till Kyle confesses his love to me." I said trying not to giggle.

"My car my rules, so respect my authoritah!"

Kyle seemed to be really on the edge at this point and just wanted me to stop, " Fine I love you ok?" He seemed to relax after saying it as if he knew I would get off.

" Oh come on Kyle I was going to get off eventually, no need to ruin the fun."

At that moment the car began to shake and back fire. "Who nelly, down boy down!" yelled Cartman trying to get control of the car. It eventually gave out on us and Cartman was convinced he could fix it. He took off his shirt opening the hood. After the smoke from the engine cleared her said, "Let's see what we have here." After a few minuted of randomly banging a wrench against the car Cartman stepped away from the hood. Wiping his hands with his shirt he said, "Well, I thought this would happen." as he stepped towards the trunk and pulled out a fairly large wagon. "What the hell do you plan on doing with that?" asked Kyle.

"Well I'm planning on sitting in it, and you guys are going to pull me along as I stand on it gloriously, accepting me as your king!"

I glared at him, "No fucking way dude." I hopped out of the car. "Come on Kyle we're walking it, alone. And Cartman can follow if he wants."

"Come on you guys." wined Cartman as he rolled himself on the wagon behind us.

"Wait what about Kenny?" asked Kyle. I glanced back and before I could even hear the explosion gust of hot wind hit my face. The car was blown to bits.

" Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" I yelled.

"You bastards!...oh wait there he is." Said Kyle.

And there he was walking towards us without a scratch on him. He was laughing like a mad man, " Haha, did you guys see that? It went boom! Haha, who can't afford an iPod now!"

"You did that!" asked Cartman," I'll kill you." He crawled out of the wagon and starting running towards him. It was pissing him off even more that Kenny was still laughing, but he collapsed halfway towards him, "I'm seriously you guys, I'm gonna kill him." He said gasping for air. I couldn't help to see him looking so pathetic, so Kyle and I dragged him onto the wagon and we continued to walk to school. It was a hell of a walk, and it didn't help that Cartman was going the wrong way.

It was a while before me and Kyle could say another word to one another with Kenny singing to his hearts contempt. Neither I nor Kyle had seen him so happy in quite a while so we didn't poke at his buttons. We just waited for the fat lady to sing, and by that I mean till his iPod died. Even then he was still yelling out random jargon, but we had a little time to talk in the time it took him to remember the lyrics. That's the weird thing about Kenny, usually when someone forget the lyrics they just hum that part. But not Kenny, he waits till he can remember. Sometimes he has to wait till the next day to start up the same song again. All Kyle and I could find to talk about was shit we did over the summer. There were long pauses of silence, till Butters pulled up in a sweet mustang, and by mustang I didn't mean a car.

"Butters, where the hell did you get a horse?" Cartman asked with the only ounce of breath he had left in him. Watching us pull him around must make him exhausted I guess.

"Well, my parents sent me a farm over the summer. They said something about needing character or something like that. I didn't bring back any character I guess, but at least I got this cute horsey here." It seemed like he was talking to his horse the entire time because he would not stop petting it.

Kenny walked up to the horse with a sparkle in his eye. "Wow…" he said as he reached to touch its tail. Before he could Butter smacked his hand away. "Now Kinny, don't you go touching my Butterscotch's no-no-area's." said Butter wagging his finger at Kenny. "He's sensitive, isn't that right Butterscotch." He sure was sensitive, I could tell by stiffy he had on him. I pointed it out to Kyle and he couldn't help but to laugh. Butters reached forward and gave the horse a carrot, as if he had it in his hand the whole time. Knowing Butters he probably did. I was sure as hell tired of dragging that fat ass around town so I had to ask Butter's if he could give us a ride.

"Well golly gee Stanley, I don't thing little ol' Butterscotch here can handle Eric's weight." He replied. Cartman was muttering something unpleasant but no one was paying him any attention.

"Oh come on Butters, we're almost there, plus you don't want me telling your parents you denied your good old pals a ride do you?" said Kyle

"Well I guess not, but only two more people can fit. How are we going to take the rest of you?"

So with me and Kyle sitting behind butters, and Kenny holding onto the horse's tail while sitting on Cartman, we were on our way again.

Kyle didn't seem to be doing so well though, his face was all red. I guessed he was being squished between me and Butters.

But I asked anyways, "You doing alright Kyle?"

"Yup," he replied, "just my first time on a horse is all." I left it at that but I still had a feeling he was lying.

I yelled over my shoulder, "How 'bout you Kenny, doing alright?" I didn't know if he heard me or not but he was screaming "woohoo!" so I took it as a yes.

After Butters parked his horse on the bike rack, we headed to class and got our schedules. Everyone except me and Kenny had different homerooms, and it was no fun since Kenny kept listening to his iPod. I could of sworn it was dead, I'm starting to think Cartman was right about Kenny not being about to afford one and stole another one. I guess he thought it wouldn't work anymore after it died.

When we met up in the courtyard, Kyle and I had first, third, and forth period together. Nevertheless, I knew it wasn't going to be a fun day.


	2. Respect!

I never did have a good sense of direction, and according to Cartman, neither did Jews. So, when Kyle and I headed to our first period together, it was no surprise that we found ourselves in an empty hallway, where room numbers meant nothing. We had to head to room 415, but when we got to room 410 the room numbers suddenly switched to 200's. What kind of shit is that?

I thought I was saved when I saw Clyde walking out the bathroom still zipping up his pants. I ignored the oddity and asked him if he could help us out. But all he did was flip me off and walked away. Kyle and I exchanged glances and I could tell he was just as frustrated with the situation as I was. I couldn't stand to see my poor Jew boy, I mean Kyle, suffering. Dammit I have to stop hanging out with Cartman, that fat ass is getting to me.

So I dragged him by the arm to the nearest classroom, but it was locked. So I went to the next one and I saw a young looking teacher through the glass. The door was locked too but I figured he would understand, and so I gave a gentle knock on the door. He turned towards me right away and began screaming nonsense and waving his fist. Kyle was no longer walking behind me, he was on the floor. I didn't know if he was exhausted or just tired of this. So I had an idea and dragged him along like a kid with a blanket.

I was tired as well and needed to refresh, so I headed to room 241.

"Where we going?" said Kyle lazily, as if he was sleep talking.

And so I told him the truth, " we're going to room 241."

"But that's not our classroom number." He said stating the obvious. He tilted his head towards the direction we were headed. "That's the bathroom. Do you know that's the bathroom Stan, 'cause that's a bathroom right there."

I rolled my eyes, I didn't want to deal with an argument at the moment, so I lied, "I know Kyle, but the teacher told us to meet her there. You fell asleep so I dragged you along."

He was so knocked out he believed the bullshit I spouted. "Oh, your such a good friend Stan, taking me so I wouldn't get in trouble." He started to sound drunk, "What a pal Stanley is," he raised his voice, " and I want everyone to know that Stan, this guy right here, is a hell of a guy, and I'm gonna give'em a big smooch!" He blew a kiss and began to giggle, and I couldn't help but to giggle too. "Shhh, quiet Stan you'll wake the children." He fell asleep again but by that time we were in the restroom already. I sat in the stall a while waiting for him to come to, but it was awful boring, so I shook him awake. "Don't kick the baby!" he yelped, "Oh, hi Stan," he said rubbing his eyes and examining his surroundings, " where are we?"

I don't know many rooms with stalls and urinals, so I took it as a rhetorical question...until he asked again, what a moron.

"We're in area 51 Kyle, Cartman got abducted again!" I thought maybe I could get a few kicks before he was completely awake.

"Oh my god…Sweet!" he threw a fist of victory, "I was wondering when chubs would get it up the ass again. I was about to do it myself, wait scratch that."

He layed back down dropping his entire upper body a bit too freely. The impact must have brought him back to life.

"Wait," he started rubbing his eyes again, "why are we in the bathroom?"

"To drop off some brown babies at the pool why else?" I replied

"Don't screw with me Stan, are we skipping?" he was now on his knees with his finger in my chest.

I sighed, preparing myself for an earful. "If I told you, you would have never agreed."

"Damn right I wouldn't Stan. What were you thinking? I can't have an absent day on my record, not this early in the school year!"

I shushed him, trying to calm him down. "Don't worry you're little green cap about a thing Kyle my boy, I've got a plan."

So after school I headed to the main office with Cartman, or what they would believe to be my father.

Cartman tapped on the front desk with all his confidence at the tip of his finger. He sure does get some balls when he puts on his sunglasses and fake handlebar mustache. Even though the color of the mustache didn't match his hair color, it somehow worked for him. The women finally looked up.

"How may I help you?" She said sluggishly.

"My boy here," gesturing towards me, "missed his first period 'cause ma' ol' lady was givin' me lip so I had to lay down the law, you know how it is."

"No in fact I don't…" she said, looking at him tediously.

Cartman ignored her response, " Of course ya' do, I'm sure theres a feller if your life givin' ya' the smack down am I right?"

"No there is not, I-."

"Of course there is," He leaned in close to her lowering his shades, "'Cause a perty lady like yur' self must be taken am I right?"

She began to blush, and just like that my absence was excused. Cartman knew she was a lonely widow and put down the right card. That's the only this fatty's good for. We walked out and headed towards Kyle.

"Alright, Stan it's your turn, it's a piece of cake with that wench at the front desk. What a pig am I right? Haha, oink oink." said Cartman handing me a pair of shades and a mustache.

We saw Kyle waiting at the flag pole.

"Did it work?" Kyle asked

"Like a charm!" I replied, "Who knew, Truffle shuffle over here is quite the charmer!"

Cartman lifted his collar, "Well you know, I got the lady's on my- hey wait a minute!"

Cartman cursed at us both for laughing, claiming he's big boned. So we all headed to the office again in the mean while. We walked in and I noticed that there was a different woman at the desk.

Cartman was still yelling his head off "…and another thing, I'm big boned in the pants too and don't you-"

"Wait Cartman, that's not the same old hag, how are we going to pull this off?"

Cartman started to rub his chin, " Hm, I see… this one is young and very much sensual. But she seems like a rookie and seems to be thrown off easily."

He seemed to be right, since she was set off every time the printer did.

"So here's what you got to do," Cartman continued, " you have to approach her with a blitzkrieg tactic and scare the living crap out of her! Lay down the law!"

"The law?" I asked

"The law!" he repeated

"I can't do this on my own Cartman, you have to come with me." I said

"I know you can't Stan, that's why you're taking the big man with you."

So we all approached her stomping every step. She looked up at us pushing up her glasses from falling.

"Listen closely lady 'cause I'm only saying this once!" I began, "Your excusing my boy here for today, and any other day he misses you hear?"

"I-I can't do-."

"You can and you will you hear!"

Kyle just stood there getting in a "Yea!" every chance he could.

"But-." she said.

She didn't seem to be getting it so I took a passage from the book of Cartman. " Respect my Authority!"

Cartman whispered to me, "Nice one Stan." and then started in on her too. "Yea, respect his fucking authoritah!"

She started typing and we glanced at each other trading smug looks.

She asked for Kyle's name so Kyle leaned in, " Um Broflovski, B-R-."

Cartman interrupted, "Broflovski fucking Kyle, you got that!"

"Can you spell that please?" She asked

"Certainly, B-R-O-F-L-O-V-S-K-I!" I don't know why I was yelling but it felt good.

She thanked me, and I replied, "Your welcome!"

Kyle didn't have to worry about being late to school anymore and most importantly, he was no longer upset with me.


	3. Epic Queero

To quote Plato "Things are not always as they seem; the first appearance deceives many." I must say I was very much deceived. I suppose that throughout my uproar that occurred at the main school office, I failed to notice the seedy old women glancing at us from not-so-afar.

From his scattered clumsy footsteps in the snow to the look in his eyes, I knew something was wrong and I ran for his rescue. Or it could have been for the fact that he came inside my house while I was watching Terrance in Phillip shouting, "Stan, there's something wrong!" But hey, I suppose you can't find a narrator faulty for attempting to sound like an epic hero. It was Kyle who bore that pitiful look upon his character.

As we entered my house he told me all about the phone call his bitch of a mother received from the seedy office lady, and how much is plead of insanity failed once more.

"So if I get in trouble one more time she's going to enroll me into the Judaism-for-Boys school!" Kyle whined.

I squinted at a non-specific point and said, "Damn your mother and her Jewish ways. So what's the big deal, it's not so hard for you to stay out of trouble is it?"

"Well that's the thing," He said itching at the rear of his head and avoiding my gaze, "I only seem to get in trouble when I'm…you know."

Seeing that the mood seemed to be hovering ever-so-heavily over my family room like a dark cloud, I attempted to lift it over my own shoulders by reaching for my fathers supposed "Tobacco" pipe and placed it lightly at the edge of my teeth, "What ever could you be getting at my dear playboy?" I questioned with a squinted eye.

"Well…when…I'm." Kyle stuttered as he struggled to push he words out.

"Get on with it then Junior!"

"I can't hang out with you anymore Stan!"

The pipe fell and landed on the couch arm rest. I was much too fumbled to even pretend like I didn't hear him.

He continued, "Whenever I'm with you I seem like bad news. You know what I mean don't you Stan…your there. We can still hang out after school, just the two of us…you know…"

At times I wished that that pipe was actually filled with embers and not just ashes, so I could see this entire moment go up in flames. But instead, am invisible match seemed to light fireworks, and set them loose upon the already tense situation.

I could slightly hear Kyle calling out to me as I looked at the floor as if I was putting a puzzle together. And then…Boom…the puzzle pieces ricocheted across the room.

And the hurricane of madness took me along. "No fuck you Kyle, trying to like everything's all fine and dandy!-"

"I never said that!" Kyle interrupted.

"You might as well! If you're willing to give up on our relationship then hey, I guess I don't give a flying fuck either and-"

This time Kyle intercepted my words once more but with a grasp to the back of my head and a much pressed kiss to the lips. I felt his fingers crawling deeper and deeper into my hair. I was at a state of dismay, and I flung my hand at his face, knocking his hat off. I don't quite remember what I said, or exclaimed, but I remember him being outside the door pleading his case and asking for his hat back. With my back to the door, I headed back into the family room to retrieve his hat. I swung the door open and I cocked my arm to throw it, but my fingers wouldn't let go. And after an awkward few seconds I slammed the door once more and ran upstairs.

* * *

><p>Sorry for the short chapter but I'll upload the next chapter greater than or equal to the length of this one later on today or tomorrow.<p> 


	4. Battle, Battle!

Once my feet were back on level plains, I fell to my knees, and regretted every foolish action that went down on my behalf. Fuck how I hated the painful grip that one kiss had on my insides. I felt them shift unnaturally and I took it as my body punishing me for my ignorance.

My eyes began to drown and all I could think to do was bury my face in Kyle's hat. And for the slightest moment, I couldn't help but to take a deep intake of air from within the slightly dampened hat. For that slight moment, I felt as if Kyle was still here and I was kissing him back, and that just made me queasier once I realized that wasn't the case.

I caught up with Kyle outside of school the next day. I tried to apologize but he beat me to it, and by beat me to it I mean beat any hope I had of us having that kind of relationship to a pulp.

"I'm sorry about the other day, I just couldn't think of any other way of shutting you up before you said something really stupid you know?" he said hardly sympathetically

I merely agreed, I mean what else could I have said? 'No Kyle the pleasure was all mine, now let's get you in trouble like the bad boy you are and make out in the bathroom.' Not only does it sound totally stupid, he would never go for it…not that I want him to or anything.

Well everything was settled, Kyle and I were merely friends again and I guess you can say we just had an experiment with one another that no one will ever find out about. It could have been worst; we could have watched each other masturbate in a hot tub.

We were smiling like old times and cheers to the last moment we can spend together till after school according to Kyle's new schedule. Or last moment together forever, once we walked in there were pictures posted all around and girls giggling in concentrated circles. And those pictures were all the same image. An image of Cartman in the corner with his thumbs up as Kyle and I kissed in a window behind. It was a very small area of the picture but it was clear as day.

Before I even thought of looking for that fat bastard he came right to us.

"Hey, well if it isn't my stars!" he said with an arm around each of us.

My face was steaming hot, "I want you to take these down right now." I muttered

"Oh I'm afraid that isn't possible my man, or should I say Kyle's man." He said chuckling, "Even if I did collect all 400 copies posted around, everyone else around here has a personal copy of their own."

I grabbed him by the collar and raised my fist at him, "What the hell were you doing at my house with a camera anyways?"

He seemed very pleased that I asked, "I'm sorry Stan I'm afraid I can no longer talk to you. For you are now lower than a dirty Jew. I presume you are the bottom aren't you?"

Kenny came in with a swift left knocking the smug look of Cartman face and onto his ass. Butters came to see the blood flow that fled from Cartman's nose. Kenny was already on his way to the schools exit so I asked butters why he did it.

"Gee I don't think he wants people to know," he whispered as he rubbed his feet together, "But I guess it won't hurt since you guys are in the same situation."

"Situation, what situation?" I asked curiously

"You know, trying to keep your relationship a secret." He replied inching closer to my ear

I couldn't help but to laugh, "Ha-ha! Kenny has a girlfriend? How ugly can she be if he's keeping her a secret?"

Butters put his hands on his hips and said with quite the attitude, "Come on then Stan you know I'm no girl. Jeez, and I thought he was keeping it a secret cause I'm a boy not cause I'm ugly." he seemed depressed by the thought.

Before I could retaliate with a apology Kenny called for him at the door.

"Coming!" he yelped. He turned back to me as he shuffled his bag over his shoulder and said, "Good luck you guys!" and he skittered out the doorway.

I turned to Kyle and his eyes met mine right before he quickly turned in embarrassment. Not too long after, Clyde, Jimmy, and Craig came to retrieve Cartman.

"Since when are you guys friends with him?" Kyle asked as puzzled as I was

"Ever since we found out you guys are F-f-fa…f –faaa…f-f-fags!" said Jimmy. The others cheered him on. And he finished it off with a, "F-f-f-freaks!"

"Yea," started Clyde as he dug his finger into Kyle's chest, "So you guy can just get out of our school. We don't feel comfortable changing in the locker room with a couple of fags like you around!"

Kyle pushed him off a fair distance and shuffled towards him with an open palm ready to strike. But I had to act quickly; I didn't want Kyle to leave me here in this genocidal school. So I slowed him down by slapping his hat back on and walked towards Clyde. He looked straight at me and raised his fist, "What's a queer like you going to do, don't even try to kiss me." I punched him in the gut where he failed to defend. Kenny must have packed a larger punch than me because Clyde didn't go down so easily and he punched my square in the jaw knocking me to the floor. I got up right away afraid that he might go for Kyle.

I started swinging franticly beating Clyde's face to a pulp. Craig came running fist readily balled and swung towards me. Kyle pulled me out of harm's way as Craig fell on his face failing to connect such a forceful punch. Jimmy was already out of the fight since Craig left him holding Cartman so he was trapped under his weight.

Both Craig and Clyde were up and seemed unfazed. Finally, four administrators showed up and dragged most of us to the office. Except for Cartman who was being over dramatic and 3 people had to carry him in a stretcher. Since Cartman was the only one bleeding, they questioned him

"Who did this to you?" the principal asked

Cartman pretended to struggle, " K-k-k…"

"The K.K.K?" asked another

Cartman continued, "K-k….Kyle it was definitely Kyle."

"What?" I defended, "Listen Kyle didn't lay a hand on anyone!"

"Oh, and who might the one be who did this?" asked the principle smugly.

I couldn't thing clearly at that moment. I didn't want to tell on Kenny, I mean he was the one that defended us. My silence was presumed as a confession.

"So you did this?" another asked

"…yes." I said finding no other way

"Of course you know you will be expelled for causing such a commotion? Not only did you start a fight but you assaulted one of your peers, and at this school, we do not tolerate any form of it." said the principal

But Kyle confessed to having done it. Believe me I tried to stop him. But having been ping ponged back and forth from Kyle and I, they lost their patience and suspended Kyle for ten days. But of course that meant nothing since Kyle would be sent to that damn Judaism-for-boys school. Kyle was going to be gone from my life, my life that seemed to just barley begin. Everyone except Jimmy were also suspended. I guess that gave me time to deal with the fact that I probably won't see Kyle for more than a millisecond a day.


	5. Staaaaaaaaannnnnn the Man

Awakened by a drunken nuisance they call "Randy" who seemed strangely and coincidently randy.

"Heard you gave that cow of a pal of yours the old knock-a-roo!" He said with one hand on his junk and the other holding a 40 as he paced in a small circle.

I attempted to sit up, "Yea and the school gave me the old Suspend-a-roo." I said rubbing the crust from my eyes.

"Suspended?" He exclaimed, knocking over the majority of the items on my table unnecessarily

"Yea dad suspended." I replied

"I'm sorry, I thought this was America!" he prepared a sluggish stance with his hand on his hips and his legs apart, which seemed difficult considering that his pants were now half way down. "America." He stated with a short pause, "America, where you can't get suspended for liking dicks!"

"What! You knew?"

"Of course it's been like that since you guys were in elementary school, hand in hand. A couple of queers. You shouldn't feel ashamed for having, whatever you with the Jew boy. You should be proud, taking one of them in after the holocaust. Shit I wouldn't, I don't want to deal with their emotion damage and what not."

"The holocaust was- wait that's not even the point okay dad! The reason I got suspended is for fighting!"

"Well you shouldn't say it so glum Staaaaaaaaaaan." He said sounding as if he's on the verge of vomiting

"What the fuck are you talking about dad?"

"All I'm saying Staaannn, is that if, out of the hundred fights I was in in high school, if at least one of them was for your mother, we wouldn't be so fucked up right now. And I would still be getting a weekly blow-y work thingy. See, it's been so long I don't even remember what it's called Stan!"

For the first time my dad was making some sort of sense. "Your right dad," I said," I'm going to march over there and-"

"Blow jobs!" Randy interrupted, "that's what it's called!"

"Yea, good for you dad." I said as I pulled on my boots and got dressed

"Where you headin' Stan?" he asked

"Kyle's place."

He placed his hand on my shoulder and said, " Stan, Stanleeeeyyy, hey Stan listen. Hey Stan you listening. Staaaaaaaaaannnnnn…Stanley Cup…world series. Stan, go to him…go him." His eyes began to water but I was too busy at the moment trying to avoid his morning/beer breath to care. "Well," he continued," daddy's gonna go throw up now." And with that he was off, placing a moist kiss on my forehead.

I tried to rub it away but I could still feel it. He yelled from the bathroom, "Get a blow job for me Staaann, for me!"

I tried to ignore it but a statement like that was just so off the wall I just couldn't, so on my way to Kyles all I couldn't think was 'Blow Jobs'. And I began to think, 'Is Kyle going to want me to Blow him sooner or later….fuck that, If anyone's getting the blow jobs its me.'

I got to his door step praying that his mother didn't answer the door. And luckily an attractively gloomy girl with red locks opened the door. She had a skimpy plaid skirt on, something I wouldn't let my daughter out in. It seemed to be some sort of uniform. Ike was giving her odd looks but it was none of my business.

"Er, hey is Kyle home?" I asked looking past her shoulder

"Dude," he/she replied," it's me."


	6. Not much, just a touch

Can you believe that shit? Once I stopped thinking of Kyle as a guilty pleasure, he decides to become a chick with a dick. So there we were, tussling on the floor of his door way, nothing sexual.

"What the fuck Kylie, why did you go and turn your wiener inside out? What was the point of getting circumcised, huh?" I said while slamming his head against the floor.  
>Kyle tried to talk but the blows to the back of his head were way too overpowering.<br>"What nothing to say?" I asked, " Did they cut off your tongue too when they cut off your balls?" With that I reached into his pants to express my anger towards the emptiness. But instead I was greeted with a fist full of balls.  
>Kyle pushed me off and scooted back on his ass.<br>"I've been trying to tell you," he took a deep breath, "I didn't get surgery done. This is just the uniform I have to wear to the new school they enrolled me in."

"Oh, that sounds more reasonable." I replied, "But it's just so convincing. You're such a doll." I said pinching his cheek on all fours.

"I don't think you're seeing the big picture here Stan. I'm not going to school with you anymore. The Jewish school they enrolled me in is just for girls. Even if you tried to sneak in with another one of you're crazy Elementary school antics it wouldn't work."

"Oh come on now Kylie. If you can do it so can I."

He sighed and said, "Trust me you cant. It's hard to pull off looking like a girl and jewish."

It started kicking in. This time it wasn't going to all pieces together with Kenny dying at the end. Kyle was leaving my life and there was nothing could do about it.

"But I could sneak over and see you right? We can still pass each other every now and again."

" 'Fraid not Stan. Look at my window, its barred and alarmed. I'm pretty much a prisoner. I cant imagine a Jew suffering a consequence that intense."

My mind was erratic trying to think of solutions. Nothing was worth saying aloud. This was my last chance to see Kyle. And I only have a few seconds left, since the fat lady is at the peak of the stairs and shes about to sing.  
>I made the best of the moment and Grabbed Kyle by the back of his neck and gave those cherry balmed lips something to talk about. I kissed him forcefully, but then just took my time, grazing my upper lip against between his. Closing my lips onto his bottom lips. And that's all the pleasure I was allowed until I was dragged by the cartilage of my ear by Kyle's mom, until I was on the side walk in front of his house.<p>

My ear was pounding and I could hear was the door slamming and Ike saying "Ouchy wah wah."


End file.
